


Why him?

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst?, Fluff, M/M, Reef's bodyguard Au, good ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 13:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This couldn't be happening.No, no, no, no, no, this wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening, it couldn't!But it was.It was and it was your fault.--Probably going to have multiple endings if I get to it.





	Why him?

**Author's Note:**

> Just let it be known that it's actually been a long time since I wrote a fic. I'll probably write something else soon that's better. Anyway, this is for Reef's bodyguard AU ( http://lightingupthereef.tumblr.com/tagged/bodyguardau ). You should go check it out because it's awesome. Anyway, I was going to do something cute and then this happened. Also, I would have gifted this fic but I don't actually know if Reef has an AO3 account.

This couldn't be happening.

No, no, no, no, _no_ , this wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening, it _couldn't!_

But it was.

It was and it was your fault.

It was all your fault, and now _he_  was lying there, brightly colored blood staining the grass as your assailant fled from your rage. You wanted to give chase, but you had more important things to deal with, like the fact that _he_ was lying there, a knife that you should have been the one to take having torn into his back before you even realized what was happening.

You drop down next to the other, anger melting away to be replaced by despair. No, no, no, this wasn't supposed to happen, it should have been you, _it should have been you,_  why did it have to be _him!?_  But it wasn't you, it _was_  him, and now he was dying and you couldn't save him - you didn't know _how_  to save him.

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you are watching your bodyguard Sollux Captor die after he saved you.

You had been heading home from a party, some stupid thing Feferi threw to celebrate an alliance with a new something or other, you hadn't really been paying attention considering the fact that you had been up all day before and hadn't had an opportunity to nap that night. On your way home after you were finally, _finally_ allowed to leave, you and Sollux had been attacked out of nowhere. It had been a single assassin, and he had almost gotten the drop on the two of you. You had suddenly been shoved forward. All you had heard was a loud " _schick,_ " and when you turned around Sollux, who had been the one to shove you, was frozen, a large troll standing behind him. Sollux slumped to the ground, his eyes wide behind his goggles. Clearly the assassin hadn't expected to be noticed, and the two of you stared at each other in shock for a moment.

That didn't last for long. Sollux, from his place on the ground, fired an optic blast at the assassin. The troll barely managed to dodge a body shot, but the blast still destroyed his arm. He screamed, shocked and in pain, and then you were on him with an enraged scream of your own.

Now he was fleeing with his tail between his legs. Dark, greenish-blue blood drips from your claws and soaked your clothes, but that wasn't what was important right now. You drop down next to Sollux. "S-Sol - Sol!" Your bodyguard groans softly, cracking open his eyes. "Don....don't worry, Your Highneth, I'll be.... I'll be jutht...."

"Shut up! Shut up! Don't try ta play this off like it's nothin' an' you're not hurt as badly as you are!" You snap, interrupting him. You look around, but no one is there. You curse yourself for choosing to take a darker, less commonly used road specifically to avoid other trolls. You would love to see one of those silly lords (even the ones who think that they were all that when they were really at the bottom of the chain).

"I've had worthe..." His voice pulls you from your thoughts. You swear. Dammit, you're wasting time, you have to save him. You _have_  to! He was an overprotective idiot, but goddammit, he was _your_  overprotective idiot and he just saved your life, probably at the cost of his own!

He's _yours,_  and you don't take kindly to your belongings being taken from you. You pull the knife out of his back - fuck, bad move, he cries out in pain and blood spills from the wound faster, staining the ground below you with mustard yellow. You hate the color more than anything right now. You quickly unclasp your cape, balling it up and pressing it against the wound. Stopping the bleeding is always first and foremost, right? You have to make the bleeding stop. Sollux groans in pain as you push hard on the wound and you bite your lip, wondering if you should let up.

When you feel warm, wet liquid seeping through your cape to well up between your fingers, you immediately decide against it.

"Sol, are you still wwith me?" You demand harshly, glancing up at him. He gives a soft, choked, "Yeah." You press harder on the wound and he gives a weaker noise of pain. Fuck, fuck, no, he can't die. He can't die! "Just hold on, Sol, I'm gonna call someone, we'll get medicullers right out here, alright? You're gonna be fine, okay?" A faint, wheezy noise came from him. After a moment, you recognize with some horror that it's a laugh. "I'll do my betht to thtay with you, Printhe. Gosh, it'th like you actually care."

You grit your teeth, squeezing your eyes shut tight. "That's because I _do_ care, you absolute fuckin' buffoon! I don't want you to die!" He falls quiet at that, and you're not sure if he's just surprised or if he fell unconscious. "Sol?" You quickly pull out your palmhusk. Feferi pops into your mind, but she'd be busy at this time closing out the party. While you have no doubt that she would drop everything to help you, you think that that should be left as a last resort. Then Sollux's breathing hitches, slows, and no, fuck that, you call her right away. You get Aradia. You're not all that surprised, Fef might have been busy with someone else and passed her palm husk off to - no, no more thinking.

You don't realize you're sobbing or that you've been babbling trying to tell her what happened until Aradia tells you to slow down and breathe. "He's hurt - Sol's hurt, there was a troll and he - he - " You choke on your words. As soon as Aradia heard "Sol's hurt," she was demanding to know where you were, you tell her as best you can between sobs, and as soon as you're sure that she knows where you are, you drop your palmhusk, not caring when you hear a "crack." Your hands are covered in Sollux's blood by now.

"Are..... you - crying?" His voice is weak and faint, but Sollux is asking you a question. You're quick to snap, "Yes I'm cryin', you fuckin' idiot! You're layin' here bleedin' on the fuckin' ground an' I don't know what ta do except hold this stupid _fuck_ in' c-cape...." Your voice breaks on the last two words and you sob. Sollux is quiet for a moment and you're terrified that he's gone, about to check to see if he's still breathing when he finally speaks up.

"Heh. N-never thought I'd h-hear y-ou call that... cape thtupid. You sh-....shouldn't waste.... your.... your tears on.... s-....someone... like me." Sollux managed, forcing the words out. "V....iolet is a... far m-more valuable color.... than.... g...gold..." He trails off, eyes slipping shut.

"...Sol?" You ask, softly. He doesn't respond and you say his name again, louder. "Sol!" Still nothing, you give a sob. " _Solluxander fuckin' Captor you answer me right now!_  That's an _order!_ " He always hated when you called him that, and you hoped it might get a reaction out of him now. You sob when he still does nothing, and not long after that the metaphorical calvalreapers arrive, Aradia at their head. You throw a fit when you're separated from Sollux, but Aradia suggests that you let the medicullers do their job. She tells you that Feferi requested she escort you home, and gently informs you that Feferi informed her to use force if necessary.

You let her escort you home, but you're not happy about it. She stays with you, though you can tell that she's just as worried about Sollux as you are. You get the blood washed off of you, but realize that your clothes aren't salvageable and that your cape went with Sollux. Your clothes are tossed out and you change into clean ones. Aradia stays the day with you, likely to make sure no one comes after you again, though the odd of them getting to your room were slim. The next night, however, she's dismissed, allowed to go see Sollux. You, however, no longer having a proper bodyguard (refusing to accept a new one), are confined to the hive unless you have an escort. You recieve several messages from advisors insisting that you select a new guard and several forms with details on the candidates, but you refuse them all. When Sollux is fully healed -

It occurs to you that Sollux may not recover from this.

It occurs to you that he may already be dead.

The realization that the snarky, arrogant goldblood that you had dared come to call a friend (only to yourself) - that you would even go so far as to acknowledge (to yourself and to yourself alone) that you were in love with - may well be gone. The realization has you dropping the tablet you'd been holding, prepared to click deny on another batch of candidates for your guard. You vaguely hope it isn't broken, because Feferi was already miffed about your broken palmhusk. You can't entirely bring yourself to care, however, because it fully hits you that Sollux was more than likely dead, and it was all your fault.

You sink to your knees, tears welling up as you stare wide-eyed at the wall. No. No, no, no, please, no. Images of Sollux's unconscious - dead - form slip through your head, you can feel his blood coating your hands, you didn't do enough, you couldn't save him, you fucked up, he's dead because of you, he -

Suddenly you're on the floor. You're not sure when you got there, but you're sobbing. Feferi's there, gently shooshing you and trying to soothe you. By the time she gets you calm enough that you're willing to sit up and wipe your face, a good ten minutes has passed, you think. What a waste of her time.

"I'm so sorry, Erifish, I didn't realize just how hard this was hitting you." Feferi said softly, gently running her fingers through his hair. "Of course it's hittin' me hard," you retort, snippy with her even though it's not her fault and she doesn't deserve it. "He may be an asshole, but he didn't deservve this, an' - god, this is all my fuckin' fault..." Feferi gives a soft noise and wraps her arms around you. "Oh, Eridan, no, no. This isn't your fault."

"But it _is!_ " You give a long, detailed explanation as to why it's your fault and even Feferi seems like she's having a hard time formulating an argument. "....an' noww he's dead an' you can't evven tell me it's not my fault, I might as wwell havve stabbed him myself, he's..." Your breath hitches and you give a shuddering exhale. "Just tell me wwhen the funeral is so I can make an excuse ta avvoid it an' stay here ta wwalloww in guilt an' self-pity." You mumble, not meaning a single word of it but in the same breath wanting to be left alone to do just that.

Feferi was looking at you with a surprised expression. "Wait - hasn't anemoneone told you? Erifish, Sollux isn't dead. He was in critical condition with how much blood he lost and where he was stabbed, but he's stable and certainly not dead." You were immediately on your feet. "I wwanna see him." Feferi stood up as well. "Alright, but... He's not conscious yet, Eridan. And... they don't know if he'll ever be." You falter at that. "...I still wwant to see him," you say, though you're more subdued this time.

Needless to say, Feferi only takes you to see him after forcing you to get dressed. The two of you are escorted to the hospital. Something comes up and Feferi has to leave, Aradia going with her. Eridan enters Sollux's room alone, approaching the platform. If he didn't know that the psion was so terribly wounded, he could believe that Sollux was just sleeping. Almost, anyway.

"If you get better after this, I wwant you to knoww that I'm gonna kill you." You say softly, reaching out to brush some of the hair from his face, which is lined with faint burn scars from the goggles he wears. He's not wearing him now, and you don't know where they are, and you don't care. Right now, you take the time to examine his face. He didn't move as you cupped his cheek, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone.

"...Please get better after this."

**Author's Note:**

> And then I ran out of motivation. This will probably have two or three endings depending on how much muse I have later on, good, bad, and neutral probably. Hopefully this was enjoyed ;u; I'm so out of practice, I used to do nothing *but* write fanfics.
> 
> God it's such a bad ending I'm sorry :')
> 
> Edit: I’m probably not going to have the motivation to write three endings, so when I get the motivation up I’ll do the good ending.


End file.
